You can say or you can do :)

Just like the title says... I have said and said and said, but now Im doing! One day I ate a whole bag of chips... so tasty... but 1600 calories!!!!!! yes, you read correctly. 1600 calories... then I had the nerve to eat 2 doughnuts!!! and before the chips, i had like 3 cheese sticks, 2 rice cakes, and half a bagel. I was such a fucking pig. The next day I exercised really good. Like running off 350 cal and doing a lot of ab, butt, and cardio exercises from my new ipod touch! :) Then yesterday I didnt eat anything except for some tofu soup that I made. I like it, but I bet no one else would haha. Also 2 prunes. So I'd say yesterday was pretty sucessful.

Today I have a friend coming over. She is my best friend, but she doesnt know half of my secrets. So I'm probably going to have to eat more than I would ever want to now. :(( Also I keep feeling like blacking out. when I stand up, I get all dizzy and my vision gets blurry. This usually happens to me, but I know I should really expect it now since I'm not eating, but any tips on how to stop that?

I got this really cute bikini the other day... I took before pics and I'm gonna take after pics. I'll post them when I get down to 120. I finally broke through the 130 and above mark!!! I weighed in today at 127! Almost to my short term goal of 125. My long term goal is now, 105-100. I cant wait. I can see ribs and my hip bones are really apparent again. I love ana, I will not fail her anymore. She loves me too, since she is helping me accomplish my dreams of being perfectly skinny.

Thinspo :)

I'm back in the game

School is out. Summer is here. My body is definitely all here.... It needs to go away. After all the times this month I have failed Ana, I will not from now on. I'm like a fucking pig. I eat everything. If people were starving and I was around.... dont let me near any food cause no one else would get any food.

So my last stuffs that i was going to do was a failure, but now that I have plenty of time to do stuff my way and not worry about school, I will.

Yesterday I weighted myself... my scale is all jacked up, but I guessed from the readings and such that I weighed    133.

At the end of this month I am going to Atlanta to shop and such. I will hit my short term goal of 125 before then! I refuse not to. I made a plan. That plan is to go on a water fast. I will do it this time! No stopping. People around me are getting smaller and I am just getting bigger. I went shopping last night and got 2 pairs of shorts, 2 shirts, and a bikini. Both shorts were a size 3. One of them were from hollister... so cute. haha anyways they fit, but my thighs looked so fat!! I'm glad that now I have motivation... and especially the bikini. gonna have to do something with this belly.

I made a schedule, such like a school schedule. I wake up at 8. I get ready to run until I burn atleast 100 calories at 8:30 then do the same at 9:30,10:30, 11:30, and at 4:30, so by the end of the day I would have atleast burned 500 calories. I need to be thin. I need Ana. I also need thinspo :)

Another new beginning.

Yes, just like the title says, another new beginning will be happening for me. Sorry I havent posted all last week, but I just kept eating and eating and couldnt stop. Since I want to be vegan I'm going to start today and go until next Saturday being a vegan (the only time I'll eat eggs, milk, cheese, or butter, etc. will be when I have to make some food for my spanish class.) But besides that no dairy products at all.

I already made my first vegan snack meal thingy this morning. It was tofurkey, the hickory smoked kind, which is vegan, that was wrapped around 2 thin slices of green bell pepper. It was pretty tasty :) and then I had an apple pear. Hopefully that will be all I eat today, but I cant make any promises, but if I do eat at least it'll be healthy!

I plan to at least weigh 125 by next Saturday. I can never reach my 125 goal, but I will make it happen this time!

I really want to go shopping and get all these cute clothes. I think I get to go next Saturday or Sunday, so I hope to be thinnish enough to fit into more things with a smaller size. I also <3 shoes. I really like heels, but since I'm 5'10 I feel very awkward and self conscience in heels... hell even without heels. But what do yoiu think? Can tall girls wear heels?

School is out in about 2 weeks, so that means SUMMER!! And a lot of fat and skin showing! Motivation!! I want that bikini body!!

So I really want to run on my tread mill, but I HATE bugs and the other day I went in my basement, where my treadmill is, and there was a huge fucking centipede down there!!! It is still down there and idk where, so I refuse to go down there alone! So crunches will be a must for me and whatever else I can do in my room. Maybe I can make my mother takes us up to a track to walk and run!

How are you doing? What is your weight? Are you ready for summer?

Thinspo :)

BTW, what do ya'll think about rompers? I'm thinking about getting one.