Friday, July 29, 2011

Please read this

For all the bulimics out there. Please take this seriously. I never purged too often too much. Within the past month I sorta have. Maybe 3-5 times? Maybe more. All I know is that I will never do that again. I fucking binged today. I don't know why. I lost control. Then I purged. Quite a bit came up... it was good. Until I saw specks of blood. bright red, real blood. Less the half a teaspoon of blood, but I freaked out. My parents had left for work and my sister was gone. All alone. This happened about an hour and 30 minutes ago. I searched a bunch of stuff online telling me to go to the doctors or the hospital. I can't though. Everyone will find out. This can't be happening.

I read stuff about all these stomach and esophagus problems and tearing. I got scared so much. They said it was severe and to go see a doctor NOW, but I couldnt. People have died of this.

My throat sorta hurts to swallow on my left side. This is real. This is serious. This is SCARY. I'm seriously worried I will not wake up tomorrow. I used to be fine with death, until this happened. Please I beg of you if you throw up, please stop. It isnt worth it. I would not wish this upon my worst enemy. I really really hate her too, but I would never wish this upon her. Please don't do this. It can happen to you to. I don't want anything to happen like this to anyone.

I will not binge. I will not purge. I will eat (small healthy amounts, but eat none the less.). I have to not have this happen to myself nor my family. They can't afford it. I can't live with it... literally I could have died. I might. I will probably have long term issues with my throat now. It is not worth it! Please listen to this. It comes from my heart. No judgement, no worries about your mental state, just I really care and would not be able to live right knowing this happens to people.

My blog will not necessarilly be about ana or mia anymore, but healthish weight loss. Join me?

<3 everyone who is reading this. Please don't just think this can't happen to you, its serious.

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