So yesterday I fucking binged. That will never happen again... ice cream and chips!! wtf! I cant even remember the last time I ate ice cream or chips! No more, no more. I bought some more apple pears and oranges and celery. I usually dont mind celery, but I ate one last night and it was disgusting, almost like it had soap in the middle of it of something. Oh well. Just gonna have to try again, because at only 6 calories a piece thats gonna be about the only thing I can eat. If I eat I'm going to keep it under 50 calories a day.

I used to cut myself. not on my wrists but my stomach so that no one would see, but now that it is spring/summer I had to stop so I could tan and such. But I wrote FAT on my stomach in sharpie and underlined it with a peice of broken mirror... twice. so I make sure I know what I am. I so very badly wanted to cut more, but I knew I couldnt, Not because it hurts, but because it would show.

"Cutting is not necessarily for one to hurt themselves, but for one to control the amount of pain they feel."

Well I'm going to go to the movies today. I will not have popcorn or candy. I turned down subway last night... I love subway. I also turned down a egg and cheese biscuit and hash rounds from Hardees this morning. If my parents ask why I'm doing that then I'll say something like "I want to try to eat healthier." or "Since I want to be a vegan, I'm limiting (cheese, butter, egg, milk, and any other dairy products) intake."

Btw, incase if you havent already read, or if I havent said it then I'm a vegetarian and have been for almost 2 and a half years now. It was my own personal choice. No one else in my family is a vegetarian.
Point being that being a vegetarian gets me out of having to eat almost everything haha. Lucky me. I have to go to my grandparents house Sunday afternoon since it is Easter and eat a huge dinner. Anything that has meat I dont have to eat and I can try to get very small portions, excusing myself by saying "I'm just not that hungry right now." or something about vegetarian or soon to be vegan.

The other day on tv there was a show and it had fried foods on it. So gross. I'm never eating anything fried again. One reason because it is so nasty and fatty and also because some stuff is fried in like bacon grease or animal fat and shit like that, so since I'm a strict vegetarian then one reason out of fried foods! Any questions about being a vegetarian? Comment or email me at    liveproana@yahoo.com

If I eat today then I just plan on it being a whole apple pear or just half of it. Also later I'm gonna burn 350 calories on my treadmill no matter how tired I get. I dont even care if I walk 100 or them I just need to burn them. I'm also going to do a bunch of crunches. I'm gonna try for 500. I'm going to do about 200 before i go to the movies so I'm not overwhelmed with them all at once. I do intervals of 50 crunches.

So yea... I guess that is about all.Stay strong and think skinny!

Thinspo :)